….. and then life got so busy and I quit running because grad school bashed me over the head and has been kicking me while I’m down. Plus I think I was burnt out.
I think that about sums it up. To elaborate ever so slightly, I finished 2 marathons in about 2 months time and then a quick turnaround two weeks later to do a half. Add to that school and kids and family and work… I just crashed. Meaning I stopped running. Sometimes I wonder if we crash because we haven’t been running or stop running as a result of the crash. I brainstormed a million ways to try and juggle things better but all that did was stress me out and make me feel more guilty.
So here I am now. I think I’m figuring it out and getting school under control. And I MISS RUNNING!! I did try to get a 4 miler in some time in the last week and it was excruciatingly difficult. After a mile I felt spent. Maybe I was starting to get sick but it doesn’t matter. I barely completed 3 1/2 miles. At this point I’m pretty worried that all my marathon training and conditioning is gone. I suppose the last long run I did was the half in Miami last month. If I don’t get back to it soon I’m not even going to be able to do that. And I’m in serious danger of flat out forgetting I have to run Sarasota in a month. I need to get my running act together now!
I think we all just have these ebbs and flows with our training. Few people can go full speed all year long. Though I know there are people like that and they are amazing and I admire them! But that’s why the rest of us sign up for races, I think. We need something a bit more dire on the calendars to energize us to get out there even when life gets complicated. As it stands now, next race season seems sooooo far away. Marine Corps Marathon keeps posting ads everywhere, which is weird because I never saw ads for them before. Let me tell you, it’s effective marketing because before I said I didn’t want to do any destination races this year and now I’m like, damnit, guess I’m heading back to DC. But I want to smash my PB this year so I can’t just start training at the last moment or in May. I need to be really solid before May, meaning I need to start NOW.
Just a lot of guilt going on right now. I should be doing better in school. I should be doing better at work. I should be a better mom and wife. I should be doing better at achieving my racing weight. I should RUN! Turns out, sometimes wanting to be better gets you out the door to crank it out and leave it all on the track, so to speak. Other times, you just say f— it, and quit running for a while. I think I’m over the latter. We’ll see how the next few days pan out. Already a huge hurdle to jump is an enormously packed and inflexible weekend schedule. But hey, I dealt with things like that last year and managed to cram the runs in for marathon training! Mind over matter!…. mostly.