Cranky Much? – Tales From A Mean Taperer

Forget “tapering.” I haven’t been running AT ALL. It’s exam week  at school and I’m either working on exams or majorly stressing about exams. Yes, I’m supposed to be in tapering mode but it hasn’t worked out. And really, why should things start working out now?

Yesterday, for the first time, I thought I’d go out for a quick 5 miler to get something in and to reduce some exam related stress. Naturally, as soon as I go to grab my run gear, the lightning and thunder starts and a major storm rolls in. I cannot express how much this pisses me off. We’re obviously still in the rainy season but I swear it only rains when I voice or think about going out for a run. So I’m standing there, NOT running, and I start rambling about how it doesn’t matter anyways. A stupid 5 miler doesn’t matter in the scheme of things. Nothing I run this week is really going to help me with the marathon anyway. It doesn’t even matter if I don’t run a single mile before the race in 11 days because everything is already set in my training. Blah blah blah.

Then my husband chimes in with “... well, sure, but if you can get a good shake out run in…” Yeahhhh, this is when I basically snapped. I was like, “What does ‘shake out run’ even mean!! That’s not even a term! That’s not even a THING! A ‘shake out run’ doesn’t do anything for my marathon! What, if I just ran a billion 5 mile ‘shake out runs?’ then I’d be prepared for this marathon?! Do you see how crazy you’re sounding?!” Um, the only one sounding crazy was me. But come on! CLEARLY I was trying to cope with my current circumstances and make myself feel better since exams and weather were destroying my run plans. And this guy comes in and talks “shake out runs?!” Just agree with me! Just tell me something like, “You’re right honey, in fact it’s probably best if you stay in and eat bacon and brownies, to REALLY relax your legs for the race.” I don’t need more guilt and pressure to get out there and do some tapering runs. Trust me, I’m torturing myself enough already.

And to be honest, it’s not just the tapering and the exams. In fact, it’s barely the running and exams. It’s the current travel climate. Not to get into it too much but I’m hoping everything remains as it is right now for when I have to travel. Current news stuff is pretty scary and, as a mom, I start to look at this trip, at best, as unessential and frivolous and, at worst, risky. Sure, it seems ok now. But what will it be in 11 days? Or in 14 days when I’m set to return? Will I actually get to do this race? Will it just not be worth it? It’s been wearing on me in a big way.

Yep. Good times. I’m trying to come up with a plan:

#1  Get exams done

#2 Get a run in – and it doesn’t matter if it’s a run to the mailbox, just do it without over-thinking it

#3 Check the news next week, evaluate info, make a decision on the race


UPDATE:  I guess I’m not the only one considering the negative possibilities…. Runner’s World just posted this article on the situation.

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