I’m pretty sure that on my road trip to the marathon, I made a wrong turn at Alburquerque. It occurred to me recently that all my talks with my race buddy have turned into dissections of everything we aren’t doing right, everything that is going terribly, and all the goals we aren’t going to achieve. Wait, isn’t this supposed to be a fun thing?!
And it was like a light switch flipped! This is crazy what we’re going to do! Crazy good! We’re going to run a marathon in 4 weeks and we’re not even going to feel like crap afterwards! (not like I thought we would when we signed up for this thing). Sure, we’re not going to feel as good as we do drinking in Dupont, but we’re not going to feel like we just got hit by a bus either. It’s going to be fine! We’re doing it! We’re doing what only 541,000 people finished last year. And only 232,630 of them were women! That means, we’re 2 of the approximately 200,000+ women who will finish a marathon this year! Come on, that’s something to be proud of!
I can see where I made my wrong turn. It started with my training schedule. I wasn’t able to get all my runs in. Damnit. I hate grad school. It’s not ME, it’s GRAD SCHOOL!… um, mostly. Then I wasn’t down to my racing weight by my first 20 miler. Rrrrrr Why?! Then my pace wasn’t getting better. Are you kidding me?! How is that possible?? My feelings of pride and accomplishment with running a marathon got replaced with embarrassment that I wasn’t going to run it as fast as everyone else. That I wasn’t going to look as good or strong as everyone else. So many negative thoughts!
But why? It’s silly! It’s all just wallowing in negativity. And news flash to me: Nobody else gives a damn about your marathon time other than yourself! In fact, most people just think you’re a rock star for even doing a marathon. And if it was easy from the get-go, where would the challenge be in that? That drive to improve is what keeps you running and running keeps you healthy and happy. It’s a process – a wonderful one!
Something has to change. This was supposed to be me and my old military buddy conquering the marathon and having a great weekend in DC. This was supposed to be about going and grabbing that globe and anchor after 26.2 miles so we could say HA HA HAAAAA!!! I RAN A MARATHONNN!
I’m declaring war on negativity! I’m not saying we won’t complain about aches and pains and express frustration over race weights and times. We literally can’t help bursting out with those topics. But I’m telling you, I’m getting excited about the other stuff too! An equal part of me is filled with giddiness to get out there and see the sights and experience the day by running through it! I hope my co-pilot gets on board with it too. She’s an amazing runner and will very likely qualify for Boston soon (she’s super fast and super strict and super dedicated… she’s the Bert to my Ernie! xo).
This is going to be AMAZING! I’M SO EXCITED! This is going to be great and, as long as we cross the finish line, the day and the summer and all the training and sacrifice will all be rewarded.