When the going gets tough, the tough get…. running?
Did the 17k. It went as well as it could, but better than I expected (I expected a DNF). There are so many things to talk about in the running and racing world now. It’s such an exciting time. But I haven’t been able to get out there. Maybe if I blog about it, it will come. I dunno.
Got back from DC and went directly head first into final exams. That did a number on me. End of semester and all of that. But I figured, hey, I’ll just buckle down with this agonizing late night torture for a while longer and then I’ll be free to run again and start my marathon training. In my few moments of clarity and semi-consciousness during my work days and my school nights, I was excited about starting to train again – even from scratch.
But then came the news of a sick family member. Followed by the sudden news of the passing of that family member. It was and is horrible. And not that I want to discuss it but, as it pertains to running, it definitely wipes the slate clean, indefinitely. I stopped training. I haven’t been out there. I saw a Runner’s World article, a map really, that had all these reasons why you’re not running and you follow the line and it tells you if it’s a valid reason to not run or whether you should knock it off and get out there and RUN! Well, all my lines went to “RUN!!” … But I don’t feel like it. My spouse’s family member got sick once. And I ran. Spouse’s family member then passed suddenly. And I ran more. It helped. It felt like the only thing that helped. But it didn’t work when it was my family member. All of a sudden, I just couldn’t run. Because running gives you time to think. And who the hell wants to think about things at a time like that. I guess I didn’t. And I still don’t.
I know I need to reconnect to it. I will. Soon. But for now, I’m tired. In a lot of ways. Sometimes running doesn’t work as a cure all. Sometimes running is another job. Another chore. Another damn thing to do in a list of damn things to do. I wish I felt differently. I have a plan to run again. Just don’t know when.