When Life Interrupts Running… And It’s Hard To Get Back

When the going gets tough, the tough get…. running?

Did the 17k. It went as well as it could, but better than I expected (I expected a DNF). There are so many things to talk about in the running and racing world now. It’s such an exciting time. But I haven’t been able to get out there. Maybe if I blog about it, it will come. I dunno.

Got back from DC and went directly head first into final exams. That did a number on me. End of semester and all of that. But I figured, hey, I’ll just buckle down with this agonizing late night torture for a while longer and then I’ll be free to run again and start my marathon training. In my few moments of clarity and semi-consciousness during my work days and my school nights, I was excited about starting to train again – even from scratch.

But then came the news of a sick family member. Followed by the sudden news of the passing of that family member. It was and is horrible. And not that I want to discuss it but, as it pertains to running, it definitely wipes the slate clean, indefinitely. I stopped training. I haven’t been out there. I saw a Runner’s World article, a map really, that had all these reasons why you’re not running and you follow the line and it tells you if it’s a valid reason to not run or whether you should knock it off and get out there and RUN! Well, all my lines went to “RUN!!” … But I don’t feel like it. My spouse’s family member got sick once. And I ran. Spouse’s family member then passed suddenly. And I ran more. It helped. It felt like the only thing that helped. But it didn’t work when it was my family member. All of a sudden, I just couldn’t run. Because running gives you time to think. And who the hell wants to think about things at a time like that. I guess I didn’t. And I still don’t.

I know I need to reconnect to it. I will. Soon. But for now, I’m tired. In a lot of ways. Sometimes running doesn’t work as a cure all. Sometimes running is another job. Another chore. Another damn thing to do in a list of damn things to do. I wish I felt differently. I have a plan to run again. Just don’t know when.

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