I gotta change things up. My running is failing. My diet is failing. And I keep repeating every plan I’ve ever done, expecting different results. Insanity? You said it.
I’m tired of it. I’m tired of writing to my friends about the same ol complaints about running. The damn rain. My damn knee. My damn playlist. School, kids, sleep, life, none of which I can control. And what does it all come down to? My jacked up running. I can’t change my life right now. I have to go to work. I have to go to school. I have to do the daily struggle with 2 opinionated toddlers. I have to live in a state where the rain exists soley to f— up my running plans. I’m left wondering… what exactly do I have control over?????
And then it came to me – the internet. My cell phone. The internet ON my cell phone. I don’t watch TV so I don’t need to cut that out. What if I was to just unplug for a couple of weeks? What will I be missing? Some asshole shooting up innocent people? I can do without that news for a couple of weeks. Government shutdown? Yeah, I’m sure I’ll figure it out without checking the news, put it that way.
Maybe I need to just focus on getting some morning runs in and getting my diet straight and all of the other important things in life. I’m just tired of my plans not working out. Before kids and the master’s degree, I could set a plan in place, lay out a goal, and I’d hit a home run with it. Now it’s just failure after failure after failure.
But I can’t be one of those meditative runners who just listens to the wind and my own thoughts while running. I mean it would be great. I often think I’m zoning out a little TOO much when I’m running 2 feet from alligator infested swamps. But I can’t go there yet. The iPod stays. Other than that, I want to unplug. The spouse will let me know if anything major happens. But I just want to be blissfully unaware. I want to daydream about my run schedule every 30 minutes at work just like I used to do before life got more complicated and crunched for time.
Do I let myself keep blogging during that time? It’s like a journal entry right? It’s not plugging in is it? We’ll see if I have anything interesting to say during this time. Doubtful. Just another boring ol suburbanite who’s happily married with kids and trying to run. Funny how we can be so frustrated with such a perfect life. But is it too much to ask that I have the white picket fence PLUS my running?!
P.S. This GD rain has got to stop!! It’s driving me insane! As soon as I so much as look at my shoes I hear thunder!