I’m at a point in my life where I’m not happy for other runners’ successes. I’m jealous. I’m jealous because they’re doing more miles than I am and running more days than I am and doing it at all at 5am. I’m jealous over everything and anything. Pretty toxic right?
Got wind today about a person I know, a previously sedentary soul who never ran a day in their lives, who now gets up at 5am to run 4x a week while also getting in 2 separate days of cross training. And while I was impressed, I was also jealous and bitter. I also get kind of competitive when I hear stuff like that. I used to be the one training like that. Now I’m skipping runs because I’m sleep deprived or so busy that I look up and it’s 9pm and all my particular running options are now closed.
Hey, I know other people are tired and busy too. That’s why there’s a healthy side heaping of self loathing on my jealousy plate. It’s not as if this person is doing something I can’t do (or is it? I go back and forth on this one). I keep saying this but the key is to get organized. Five years ago I would have said the key was to get sleep, but that’s a joke now. Organization now has to replace sleep.
I’m going to use this jealousy to motivate me. I needed some motivation anyway. I miss the runner that I used to be – the one who wasn’t a chubby, bitter, jealous, negative prick.
Jealousy + Organization + New Gear + Race Entry + Good Playlist + Caffeine OR Sleep ….. Apparently either side will enable me to run.